Valentine’s Day May Have Passed but Love and Marriage is Every Day

Valentine’s Day 2023 may have passed but love and marriage is every day.

Here is our love story. Lance and I met in December 1986 at Economy Builders Supply in Sandy, Utah. He was 22, a returned missionary attending the University of Utah and doing accounting at Economy. I had just turned 18 and was a senior in high school. Through a work release program, I was hired as one of the receptionists at Economy. I noticed first how cute he was. Easy and fun to talk to. Rubber band fights helped our relationship to grow. He finally asked me out and after my senior graduation trip, we soon became inseparable. We married June 16, 1988, in the Salt Lake Temple. I've done the math, this year we will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.

What I like about being married….  I like being married because of our partnership in life. It is wonderful being married to my best friend. Lance has strengths and I have strengths and we compliment and help each other. I've noticed at times when I am down, discouraged, and weak, he is there with his strength, optimism and faith to lift me up and encourage me. Likewise at times when he feels hopeless or upset, I am the stronger one to offer the faith and support he needs. I like that design of God's in marriage. It is a partnership. Both willing to put in the work to make it better.

Marriage wisdom….  “Thee lift me and I’ll lift thee, and we’ll ascend together.” John Greenleaf Whittier (But this quote was also attributed to a Quaker Proverb, Robert D. Hales, and Linda K. Burton. I remember hearing it from Sister Burton’s April 2015 talk, “We’ll Ascend Together” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/04/well-ascend-together?lang=eng)

What has been challenging…. Some of what has been challenging for us has been finances, communicating, especially with our needs and feelings, infertility, unmet expectations, intimacy, the struggles of parenting with its exhausting days and nights, depression, and anger. But putting God and each other first has helped us better balance our priorities and given us strength during the challenges. Relationships require faith, forgiveness, selflessness, and cooperation. The Savior helps in all these areas. We haven't given up! Challenges continue, some in the same areas. We continue to learn and grow.

Something that helps me... Growing up I babysat for a couple that had marriage notes and little love quotes posted in their bathroom. I thought it was so sweet. Quotes and encouraging thoughts I also enjoy tucking behind cupboard doors, on the refrigerator and even in my bathroom. Very early in our marriage I heard someone speak and share some good marriage advice. With my WordPerfect skills I typed it up and laminated and stuck it in our bathroom. A few years later I add the Hinkley's essentials for a happy marriage. These lists continue to be a helpful guide. There is still work to do.

Hopes for the future... For our future I hope to be healthy, happy, and energized to serve a mission soon after Lance retires. In due time I look forward to adding grandchildren to our Thaxton crew. I hope to continue in making memories with our family, which we have worked hard to create. I hope to keep the family ties strong, and my children continue to love and support one another. Despite what the world says, love can last a lifetime and longer. I am grateful my marriage to Lance and our family are forever!